This process not only helped me to learn about myself as an actor, but also more deeply as a person. I fell in love with this play when I first read it. I continued to get more and more enjoyment out of it throughout the summer. I could not wait for it to be performed. This was the special kind of play that made me laugh aloud by just reading it to myself; I am so unbelievably grateful to have been a part of Noises Off. I feel so blessed to have been allowed this opportunity to bring Poppy to life .
This process has been a whirlwind. It went by so fast, but in so little time I have learned so much. I was thrilled when I found out I would be a part of this production. Soon thereafter, I was equal parts thrilled and terrified; the opening date seemed so close. But this initial craze was soon replaced with a resolute understanding that I just needed to work my hardest and throw my entire self into this process. That’s how I find my passion. It is imperative that I dive headfirst and give it everything I have. The first Sunday, I spent a lot of time with the script trying to figure out who Poppy really is. There were points of frustration, where I did not understand Poppy the way I wanted to. Then things started to click. Poppy is a lot more similar to me than I originally thought. She became so much more real as I starting thinking, how would I function in these circumstances? For a small amount of time I was viewing Poppy as this complete other entity. But I wanted Poppy to be heard, I wanted her story to be seen. The only person who could do that was me.
I also learned that so many times we are our biggest obstacle and we create problems that are not there. Admittedly, there was a point where I felt totally disconnected and unable to really embody the character I created in my minds eye. It is in these moments when I had to totally let go of myself—of worries, fears, distractions—and embrace a characters life as it is. I was wrong to think I had nowhere else to go with my character. I was stuck in my own head, I was preventing myself from growth. Once I realized what personal fixations I needed to release, I was able to finally connect in manner I needed to. Everything started to make more sense. Poppy was real.
Everything about this experience has been incredible. I loved this show, I loved this cast, and I loved every single moment of playing Poppy. Those moments of doubt in which I thought “can I really pull this off?” or “are we all going to come through with this together?” only made me realize with more assurance how intensely we wanted it to be successful. In truth, things as seemingly simple as visualization, self-awareness, and self-encouragement are some of the most important elements to success. It starts from the inside. I have grown more than I ever expected, and I have found an insatiable desire to never stop.
